So this may date me a bit, but around 13 years ago in my early 30's I was living in and Calgary newly married. My wife and I were just starting our life together. Now, Calgary at that time was booming and I had just become a full-time real estate agent (broker). We were surrounded by big houses and thought that hey, those people look happy, we should aim for that too. So we worked hard, moved into beautiful suburbia, had a large home but still felt like something was off. It was not until the first recession hit that we began evaluating if this was the life we wanted. Were we really happy or just doing what was expected of us?
Fast forward 8 years later, 3 recessions, 2 kids, lots of scotch (single malt only)…. when we asked ourselves, what are we doing? On paper, we had “everything.” We realized that it wasn't our dream though. That's hard, let me tell you. Here I am, with a mortgage, stable career but my wife and I were both just cruising along but not “happy.” It was scary and a little freeing to know that even though we were not 100% sure of what we wanted or what our goals were, we did know at that moment that this was not it.
We did the “Keeping up with The Jones's aka The Kardashian's” thing and now understand that it was a distraction from the amazing life we actually could have. The truth is that life goes by quickly if you are busy living by other people's plans! You are going to miss what makes you, YOU!
Now, just because we picked up our entire life and moved across the country to start fresh does not mean it's right for everyone even though it was for us. We went through trial and error and we came to realize that we LOVE living in a big city! As much as we loved the suburbs, at the end of the day, it was not what we wanted at this moment. We also realized that it is OKAY to not know fully what you want and it's even more okay to have a different dream than other people around you. This doesn't mean when we came here that we didn't make mistakes, but what we did do was learn from them very quickly and move forward.
Many people see what we have done and thought we were nuts. We think so too sometimes, but we wouldn't change a thing. We have set new goals for OURSELVES! We look to other people, mentors, parents as examples but clearly understand that we had to forge our own path.
Another reason not to try to keep up with anyone is that their “path” in life is completely different than yours. Your life experiences are not the same. It does not mean you can't have all the things they have, but just make sure you want it for you and not for THEM! Made you think about that one didn't I? 😉
My wife and I realized that we wanted to live closer to the city so we could avoid long commutes. Your dream may be to live outside the city and have lots of space. You might want to find a house in a great residential community! You may want to live in a 3 bedroom condo smack in the middle of everything! If you want to rent and only buy investment properties, more power to you! Guess what? ALL are OKAY!
Remember one last thing, everyone starts from somewhere and something my parents always used to tell me is that the grass always looks greener on the other side. Spend less time peeking over the fence, more time focussing on your side, and then your grass will grow!
“As long as you are alive, you will either live to accomplish your own goals and dreams or be used as a resource to accomplish someone else's.” - Grant Cardone
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